nerdery

So. . .I just realized how nerdy I am about the little intricate details around me. I will literally spend hours at consignment stores just to find a cute dish to put my jewelry in. I will skip much more practical things just to find the perfect rug, or curtains or dresser. And one thing is for sure, I could look at vintage furniture all day given the chance.

Anyway, tonight I continued the car search and then went with the boys to Savers where I had some good finds. This amazing corduroy jacket with little leather buttons:

I also ended up with a couple cool tops, a pair of black Antik cords (boy, I'm on a corduroy roll) for a whopping $8. They need to be altered a bit since I'm more of a simple gal, but still a great find. I also broke down and bought some Kenji sweaters (my favorite) that will be plenty warm for the snow we already have.

And this adorable pink tea cup:

I guess since decorating has been my obsession lately I'll share the latest and greatest also.

I finally found THE chair on craiglist. This beast is the perfect shape and personally, I quite like the color too. The best $25 I've spent in a while. . .

Curtains and a rug (see above) are taken care of too.

I also ditched my old boring jewelry box and finally used my cute turquoise dishes:

And just for the record, Lollia hand cream and this Rosebud Salve are not only two of my favorite things, but the best excuses to go to Anthropologie : ) I love being a girl.

{my little world}

I'm pretty excited to finally be somewhat settled. Here is the work in progress so far. . .

*lovely*

Well, its been a few days since I posted. I spent all weekend moving (again!) and there's no internet at home yet. Or at least not that my G4 is picking up. My room is finally in order enough that I can move around, but not nearly as organized as I'd like to be. I really want to make it a little oasis where creativity can flow. I was just reading this really inspiring page from my very favorite mixed media artist (Anahata Katkin) and it makes me want to finish all the random projects I've started.

Speaking of projects. . .I got my Etsy shop up and running (see left column)! There isn't a ton there yet, but its a start. I really want to move beyond photos and beaded jewelry though. I have some ideas brewing so we'll see where they lead me. Speaking of Etsy, I have found so many beautiful things! Check out the little thumbnails under my Inspirado section. And for the record, if I ever get married I want a ring like this {from kateszabone}. . .

Or these from BloomStudios. . .

*AMAZING*

how am i not myself?

I finally got my camera out last night to photograph my jewelry and then took a few shots for my Etsy avatar. But then, that turned into an hour of changing hats and taking random self-portraits. I started doing self-portraits a few years ago at the suggestion of a friend, and from there it turned into a great vehicle for self expression. I think I'm ready to try something new though. I'm not yet sure if that means finding models or just moving beyond what I can do in my room (with the few fun clothes I have), but we'll see. This is the one I came away really liking though. . .

And for the sake of the jewelry, here's a sneak peak! I need some better lighting, but this is a start.

"there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground"

Today I love. . .

Being busy and productive at work
Coffee
Laying on my bedroom floor listening to music
Essential oils
Rain

As I soaked up the evening, I noticed (for the third time) this amazing pattern that appears on my wall at sunset when the sun lights up the leaves in the tree outside my window. I finally took some photos to share. Nature and LIGHT are so amazing!

necessity

I've been in a bit of a rut with my artistic self lately and last night I think I finally got to the bottom of it (at least I'm hoping). Mostly, I've lost touch with the *why* and been focusing too much on the *how*. Too much time spent on trying to make everything perfect and very little time on actually creating or just simply letting it flow.

Rainer Maria Rilke is pretty much my favorite writer, ever. In letter 1 from Letters to a Young Poet he advises Franz Xaver Kappus (the "young poet". . .aka, the artist) against comparisons and/or focusing too much outside of oneself. I love this entire part, and even though I don't write much anymore, I definitely think its applicable to everything we do:

You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you - no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse. Then come close to Nature. Then, as if no one had ever tried before, try to say what you see and feel and love and lose. Don't write love poems; avoid those forms that are too facile and ordinary: they are the hardest to work with, and it takes great, fully ripened power to create something individual where good, even glorious, traditions exist in abundance. So rescue yourself from these general themes and write about what your everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty - describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the Things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember. If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place. And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world's sounds - wouldn't you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories? Turn your attentions to it. Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance. - And if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not... . . .for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it... . . .I can't give you any advice but this: to go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows; at its source you will find the answer to the question whether you must create. Accept that answer, just as it is given to you, without trying to interpret it. Perhaps you will discover that you are called to be an artist. Then take the destiny upon yourself, and bear it, its burden and its greatness, without ever asking what reward might come from outside. For the creator must be a world for himself and must find everything in himself and in Nature, to whom his whole life is devoted.

I can say for sure, that as much of a head game and an internal struggle being an artist can seem at times, I'm not willing to give them up.

I'm excited to get fully moved into my new place in the Avenues and to turn my little room into a mini studio of sorts. I want to create a shelving/counter area on my west wall. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! I don't really want to end up at IKEA if I don't have to. Check out this awesome storage bin from Grace Daniel Designs.

This cabinet from Buck Creek Furnishings is rad too. Geez, does it get any better than Etsy?

Oh, If you haven't read Letters to a Young Poet, I highly recommend spending a few dollars and taking a couple hours to do so asap! Words cannot describe the genius. You can also read it here!

. . .half awake in a fake empire

New photos. . .visit my Flickr to see all of them!

iAdore!

At last, I have what seems like infinite space (aka "the condo") and alone time with Mr. Photoshop, Flickr and The National. This is my idea of perfection. . .

Lately I have very little time to stop and smell the roses so to speak. But when I do pause for a moment, I realize how much adoration I have for life. With that said, I'd like to share what I appreciate and *adore*

*farmer's market peaches. . .they're imperfection is so refreshing
*heirloom tomatoes
*music
*silence
*fall
*old photographs
*long sleeved thermal shirts
*sleep
*turkey chili (thanks roommie!)
*my family

Speaking of my family, I finally scanned a few photos and must share!

Curtis in New York

Spencer when he was little. He would make that face whenever he was mad. So sweet!

Me with my great grandma Delilah on my first Christmas

Spencer & I in our grandparent's pool

Me! Wow, those goggles...

My little sis and I, eons ago...

Please comment and tell me what YOU adore!

*this is where I stand*

Last year a friend gave me of us a CD of poems written and recited by Davit Whyte. They were beyond amazing then, and still give me chills now. This one is my particular favorite:

Self Portrait
It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

-- David Whyte
from Fire in the Earth
©1992 Many Rivers Press

I don't know about anyone else, but I sure feel like the world has needed to change me, over and over again. Its really amazing though, to reach a point of experience and maturity that allows me to choose change instead of just being subjected to it. School has been on my mind a lot lately. Who I've been in the past hasn't worked and its really easy to beat myself up over things I wish I could have done better, or simply not done at all. But, what I've come to realize lately is just how literally each day can be the start of something new. Finally, what I am committed to is: education, art, health, adventure and love. Who I AM is the possibility of *inspiration*, *creation* and *transformation*.

Published!

This is kind of random, but sure fun! Schmap used my photo of Lake Merritt (in Oakland) for their San Francisco Marine Excursions guide. They also released their guide for the iPhone and iPod.

Check it out!