*this is where I stand*

Last year a friend gave me of us a CD of poems written and recited by Davit Whyte. They were beyond amazing then, and still give me chills now. This one is my particular favorite:

Self Portrait
It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

-- David Whyte
from Fire in the Earth
©1992 Many Rivers Press

I don't know about anyone else, but I sure feel like the world has needed to change me, over and over again. Its really amazing though, to reach a point of experience and maturity that allows me to choose change instead of just being subjected to it. School has been on my mind a lot lately. Who I've been in the past hasn't worked and its really easy to beat myself up over things I wish I could have done better, or simply not done at all. But, what I've come to realize lately is just how literally each day can be the start of something new. Finally, what I am committed to is: education, art, health, adventure and love. Who I AM is the possibility of *inspiration*, *creation* and *transformation*.

Published!

This is kind of random, but sure fun! Schmap used my photo of Lake Merritt (in Oakland) for their San Francisco Marine Excursions guide. They also released their guide for the iPhone and iPod.

Check it out!

the things we leave behind

A few days ago I received an incredible gift from my grandmother. She has kept my grandfather's cameras nicely in a box for thirty six years and I had the joy of opening it to find pure treasure. Those are the moments in life that count for something...Talk about priceless.

I've never met my grandfather, he died of a heartattack in 1971. But he was a man of great character. I wish he could teach me how to operate these beauties. But luckily for me he was a man of organization as well...there are several little guide books and manuals to refer to.

We're not sure when he started the art of photography but my grandma thinks he bought everything around age 22. However, there is a developing tank that has never been touched. And a letter dated October 12, 1953 that reads:

Dear Kay,

Here is some (18) 120 film. They are $1.25 a piece. I'm sorry to have been delayed so long -- I'm now a married man. --Hope you can use all of the film. I should think so since they are good till Sept. 54'.

Regards,

Norman Suhe
5653 S. Dorchester
Chicago

$22.50 total bill.

Never underestimate the history you leave behind. Someone, someday, will find your belongings and be touched by who you are.