Tom Waits just is, as a matter of fact and common sense, the best musician ever to grace us with his art. I was reminded of this while reading this interview. . ."an American living treasure." I couldn't agree more. For being my favorite musician of all time, I don't give him enough shout outs. So the music aside (cause there's just too much for one blog), this is why I'm such a fan. . .
Sunshine, rain, sunshine, rain, sunshine, rain. . .I could get used to this.
I am going to ace my math final. You heard me. ACE.
My new drop leaf table is begging to be mint green.
I want some film buddies. Only requirements: must be nerdy and have a desire to go the the midnight movies at The Tower on a regular basis.
Its time for long walks around Salt Lake, using the Polaroid, Chuck Taylors, and waking up early to do nothing.
My dream man might look like Matthew Fox. Just saying. . .
I can't get enough of Matt Nathanson for a while now. Not so much a fan of his newer, way overly produced stuff, but his older, live stuff reminds me of new love and road trips to the Great Northwest. . .
I'm finding myself in a familiar place again, except with more insight this time. I suppose that's what life is all about anyway, the ebb and flow, but I'm having a hard time not making it wrong.
See, I think I'll always want the things I want, regardless of how unreasonable, until I accomplish them. Call it crazy, call it illogical, call it irresponsible, but I think sometimes we just know what we're made of even if we haven't successfully practiced those things in the past. Or maybe I'm just delusional.
Either way, I know San Francisco keeps calling my name. There's something to be discovered and to contribute there. I know I want to create art that reveals secrets about this world we live in. I know I want to make art that inspires positive change on any level. I know I want to take photos. I know I want to make films. I know I want to collaborate with other people. I know I want to see every corner of the world. I know I want to be my own boss. I guess where I get stuck is that I don't know if I'm capable. I don't know if an inherent desire is enough to even get started. But I'm sick and tired of reasons and my own self getting in my way.
This will be another random post because I'm pretty much just putting off writing my film paper. I keep forgetting that I actually love writing about films. And its becoming clear that I'm just sort of all over the place all the time, and that's okay. That said, there are a few random things I found inspiring this week. One is this amazing poem that I adore over and over again. . .
Self-Portrait
It doesn't interest me if there is one God Or many gods. I want to know if you belong -- or feel abandoned; If you know despair Or can see it in others.
I want to know If you are prepared to live in the world With its harsh need to change you; If you can look back with firm eyes Saying "this is where I stand."
I want to know if you know how to melt Into that fierce heat of living Falling toward the center of your longing.
I want to know if you are willing To live day by day With the consequence of love And the bitter unwanted passion Of your sure defeat.
I have been told In that fierce embrace Even the gods Speak of God.
-David Whyte
I think I'm going to start posting poetry more often since its an instant kick in the pants for my artistic side.
But before we go on, let's just acknowledge how epic Portugal the Man is. Especially when I'm feeling restless. . .
And a few photos. . .
These triple and double exposure shots from golfpunkgirl are so perfect and so inspiring that there just aren't even words. . .just go look at all of them.
I took a different route home the other day and was reminded of how beautiful and even eclectic Salt Lake is. It made me want to walk around and take pictures of old buildings and I think I might just try some multiple exposures of my own.
{I wish this was my pink suitcase}
{this goes without saying}
Well, I'm off for dinner with the fam. And THEN I will be a paper writing fool. . .
I am so content and present right now that its almost painful. I guess all of this emotion is both what I've been avoiding for a while, and the beauty of being in stillness. . .
Finally, at nothing. There is a world of things to say and no words. . .
AHH! Why do the days turn into midnight so quickly? There's too much to do! Films to watch, things to write, books to read, projects to start, photos to work on, math homework to do--ick!
I'm going to keep this short and sweet. I made a few important observations today. . .
*I might have a new addiction. I think its called Soy Lattes. *Jason Schwartzman just might be my dream man. *I'm much more productive when wearing a skirt and boots. *I don't ALWAYS love Absurdist film and theatre like I thought I did. *I can finally put my dream job into words. . .not going to, but look out world! *I'm incredibly inspired by people who make art their whole entire life and I intend to do the same.
Wow. . .I officially feel creepy. Or like I did when I was 13 years old and hung pictures of Ryder Strong on my wall. (Sigh) Oh dear god.
I've been meaning to write this post for days now. Fortunately and unfortunately I've been so full of inspiration lately that its taken a lot of mental space to process AND I've recently become addicted to Lost, so there hasn't been much time to create anything. I've been very engrossed in the idea (and research) of actually making art a business for myself too. The tough part is, I don't really know where to start or what I want to specifically focus on because there are so many possibilities. I also have to keep reminding myself that gong to Europe this year is my priority right now, not starting a business. So I think for now, I'm going to attempt to make something every single day, that at the very least I can blog about. Early mornings need to become something I'm much more acquainted with in order to do this, but I think I'm up to the challenge.
Until then, I'm off for a fabulous weekend in Carbon County with my favorite girls. It will be a heck of a good time, and I think after spending $60 on getting film developed, I'm ready to put Sir Lancelot back to work.
Here are some things I'm adoring and some things I'm definitely purchasing!
This is one of the cutest and most creative things I've seen lately. . .
I pretty much have to have this next one. Why you ask? Because birds and whales are my favorite animals, and its inspired by the Tom Waits' song, "Fish & Bird" (such a sweet song. . .see video below)
Bird & Whale by falldowntree. . .who happens to be local : )
For some reason the only post inspiration I've been getting is random thoughts about random things. So I'm just going to go with it. To start, my little apartment is coming along quite nicely. I have new carpet finally and the bathroom and kitchen will be painted soon. I can't wait to photograph it!! I need to start thinking about beautiful things to hang on my walls : )
Next - It turns out I've been missing the joy that is almond butter, for like, years now. All because of one bad experience. Apparently if you just invest in the $12 jar, you're in spreadable heaven. Good lesson to learn here.
Oh, and olives. A cute boy recently reminded me of how much I love the random olive encounter. Mmmm.
I adore my girlfriends. You just don't get better or more beautiful friends. Years ago I literally dreamed about having these kind of friendships, and now here I am, and its even better than I had imagined : )
I adore my family. We are weird, but we can talk about anything with each other and sure know how to have fun regardless of what we're up to. There have been a few very big breakthroughs with them/us in the last week and I'm very excited for what's possible now. I'm a lucky girl.
The Elliot Smith kick is on.
Recently I've been thinking about what I want, in general. I've been feeling like I'm not doing much towards the greater good of my life, but then, I did just take on this apartment happening, which is so essential to the big picture anyway so I'm not sure why I'm beating myself up. I'm getting that a lot of what I strive towards isn't even anything I actually want. Just old stories and patterns I guess. Take dating for instance. . .I get all hyped about details of a circumstance only to realize I don't really want a relationship right now. Or do I? I'm just not sure. I don't think I do. I think I either want the real deal or nothing at all. And I still want to move to San Francisco someday, but I'm not doing anything about it. I guess part of that is due to the fact that things are so good here right now. Hmmm. . .
I guess maybe getting back to my daily intention journal might help.
Goodnight XOXO
Friday, March 6, 2009
♫ I really like the Decemberists
I came across this quote yesterday in my blog reading, and just love it. . .
"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." - Theodore I. Rubin, MD
