{don't think twice, its alright}

All week I've had to keep reminding myself to just keep breathing. . .everything will work out, because it always does. So I really like this little heart beat tumbler by urban soule.
*So sweet*

Today I'm grateful for:

All Wheel Drive
My "little" brother who is much more a man than many men will ever be
Our humanity, even though its ever so painful at times
My Friends
Bob Dylan

*open your hands if you want to be held*

Dear blog world, do you ever feel like everything you've ever hoped for is right in front of you and you're too chicken to do anything about it? Hmm. . .me too.

The past few weeks have been interesting. From saying goodbye to my sister temporarily, to Thanksgiving (which tends to be a very emotional reminder of how much I love my family), to becoming an aunt for the first time, its been quiet a roller coaster. I haven't really taken the time to process everything since finals immediately took over my life. Instead I've sort of escaped it all through my imagination and I've learned what a powerful gift that is. Miraculous openings have occurred and I've felt things I didn't think were possible. Now its time I just write.

There are hidden places of myself that are ready to come back. I think for a few years it was necessary for them to close, as a survival mechanism, but I'm starting to find a balance again. I I'm also starting to get it through my head that some practices are necessary to cultivate any opening. I now know who I need to be in order to be fully self-expressed so its just a matter of employing those things. Yoga, poetry, music and the people I love inspire me the most, so sharing from those places are key.

There is a poem by the great Jelaluddin Rumi that a friend recently shared to such a beautiful extent that it really got inside my head. Here are my favorite excerpts:

A Community of the Spirit

There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes
to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,
if you want to be held.

Sit down in the circle. . .

. . .Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.

Flow down and down in always

widening rings of being

You can read the whole poem here.

There are a lot of people I want to express appreciation to, so several of the next few posts might be about them individually. Hopefully they don't mind : ) Until then, a few songs that move me to tears. . .

River
by Joni Mitchell

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
I wish I had a river I could skate away on

Oh, I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river I could skate away on

updates

Well, I haven't posted in uh, forever. I'm sorry blog world. Life has just been really busy and I haven't had the internet at home for a bit. I actually have a big post planned, but until then, here are a few things I've been loving in the e-universe.

This planner from UPPERCASE. I'm pretty sure I'd use it religiously.

These are a dream come true. . .reusable food bags from Plum Creek Mercantile
This storage set-up from Baileys. Yes, I'm in *lust*

My new favorite website/shop, Hygge & West. There are too many products to post them all, so just visit their website : )

And last but not least, my website is fully up and running. I'm just working on the pricing page and then we're off and running. Check it out at www.angelarumel.com.

hello Pictureline!

Pictureline is the best photography store I can think of for miles and miles. They have this amazing feature for photographers called the Pictureline Community and I cannot even begin to explain how long getting on there has been on my list.

Today I finally made a profile! Hopefully the phone will start ringing : )

confessions of a girl who finally had her perfect alone night

I have a big, long, dramatic and sentimental post almost ready to go, but this has been the first night I've done a good job of pampering myself in quite some time. So I'm sorry blog world, I've got nothing good tonight. But I'm also not going to read the 297 unread posts in my Reader, or watch True Blood. I'm going to drink my tea, eat my chambert and french bread, and read some Chopra : )

In the meantime, enjoy two songs I'm slightly embarrassed to admit I love. . .

Pretty pervy video, but I love the whistling:

And yeah, I'm a sucker for cheesy epic rock. . .

This brings up an important questions. . .can't we be human AND dancers? Oh boy. . .

imagine yourself young, pockets full of water

Recently I bought a 1988 Civic Wagovan. Yes, I said Wagovan. He's a beauty, and due to the high levels of character he possesses, he lacks in features. Today I became faced with the exquisite reality of this lack. . .the cassette tape player. The good news is, I've been carting around various mix tapes for 8-12 years. This list includes: Help, Revolver & Let It Be, all recorded in my room straight from 94.1's Breakfast With The Beatles program that aired on Sunday mornings when I was in Jr. High. Also, a Phish mix compiled by Em, some Karate, Joni and Lost Prophets from Scott, The Wayne's World Soundtrack, and one of my own titled, Theattle, of course. There are more I haven't been so lucky to find quite yet, but I will.

Anyway, in my glee I drove around directionless just for an excuse to keep reminicing. So many memories flooded back. . .Em & I making snow angels at White Pine. . .bean burritos. . .orange peels and seminary. . .Pier. . .golden delicious apples from Reams (aka Shmear!). . .Alma's mini-disc player full of all the Ben Harper a kid could ever listen to. . .the worn leather in Nate's Vigor. . .the smell of Nate's house. . .Chris offering me a stick of Nag Champa the first time I ever sat in his car. . .countless hours of painting. . .the waterfall. . .letters. . .Counting Crows. . .sprinklers. . .sharing music. . .baggy pants, hoodies and Savers t-shirts. . ."The Grapefruit". . ."Curly". . .Chris's yellow coat. . .Alma's blue hair. . .Alma's green-ish hair. . .Brett's circle. . .french toast sticks. . .poetry. . .being in awe of how deeply I felt for these people. . .porch monkey-ing. . .10:00 curfews. . .the rain in Deervalley the first time we saw Ben Harper. . .Dave. . .Toad. . .Pearl Jam. . .Alma & Chris blowing up eggs and setting bees on fire. . .Lesley's barrell. . .snowboarding. . .Zeppelin. . .Yearbook. . .Alma & Chris handing out flowers to girls in the hall. . .Les's cabin. . .Flat Iron. . .longboarding. . .Smash (oh Smash). . .Jeff yelling, "I'm fat some more!" every time Alma would turn left. . .Chris's old man robe and his thoughts on produce. . .the letter H. . .spending hours in my room writing and painting and listening to music. . .shaggy hair. . .being confused by boys. . .Nate's slippers. . .The Nugget. . .

God we were funny. I miss those days. It was such a pure time. . .so self concious and yet so authentic. And I was so full of hope and ideals and so sure everything I ever wanted would just happen simply because I wanted it. When my only worries were convincing my dad to let me take his truck up the canyon and debating about curfews. Makes me realize how cynical I've become.



imgine yourself young
with pockets full of water
you haven't learned to hesitate yet
and the sun beats down
all on your skinny neck
as we kick around the shore
you know the rest

yes we can. . .and did

This was going to be a post about so many other things, but as I sat to write my to-do list in my journal, I got to thinking about politics, hope and progress. . .

{journal excerpt}

November 5, 2008

It's been a great day despite the many emotions experienced. Obama won the election last night which is both monumental for America and historically significant. We're either greatly progressing as a people or this is the beginning of the end. I of course, voted for Obama so my cynicism isn't with him. I just find myself wondering if it's too good to be true. I guess the answer to this question depends on what I fundamentally believe in. . .and now that I think about it, perhaps a change of attitude is in order.

I've been stuck in the pessimistic thinking that we're all going to destroy each other and ourselves eventually. I can only assume this is a concept that was engrained in me via religion. You know, the "last days", earth will be destroyed kind of thing. But, inside of that thinking (or at least who I've let myself become inside of it), why even try to better ourselves, or the earth, or each other? Why create beautiful things? Why give and love and exchange thoughts and ideas or earn money or bail out economies to begin with? Perhaps the human race will continue to grow and progress the way we always have. Perhaps there is hope and we all get to contribute to it. Perhaps there is no such thing as "too good to be true." And maybe America can even have a leader we love. It wouldn't be the first time -- and maybe it won't be the last time.

I don't know much, but I think that if we always try to do what moves us, then it doesn't really matter what happens in "the end." And too good to be true or not, hearing a country I had lost hope in, chant "Yes We Can," moves me.

Something else moves me. The fact that 68% of Salt Lake County voters see the beauty and value of animals enough to vote for the bond to save the aviary. The Burrowing Owls and I thank you : )

1st Etsy Sale!

I landed my first Etsy sale the other day and I'm so excited! More exciting than the sale though, is knowing that it was hand selected among millions of other items and that it will be enjoyed and loved in the home of Sophia of Sophia's Sweet Spot. Her paintings are SO cute and fresh and I think I might just need one for myself someday. Here are a couple of my favorites:

I think I might ask her if she'll do a custom one with tulips!

Halloweeeeen

So, I adore Halloween. Its such a perfect excuse for so many things. . .

1. Being able to get away with any outfit for a whole month, no matter how hideous.
   
2. Reason to have and go to parties.
   
3. Excuse to wear fake eyelashes and look ridiculous dancing.
4. Umm. . .chocolate.