and I'm lost in the window, and I hide in the stairway and I hang in the curtain, and I sleep in your hat...

I've got something to say. . .

Tom Waits just is, as a matter of fact and common sense, the best musician ever to grace us with his art. I was reminded of this while reading this interview. . ."an American living treasure." I couldn't agree more. For being my favorite musician of all time, I don't give him enough shout outs. So the music aside (cause there's just too much for one blog), this is why I'm such a fan. . .

Because who else announces a tour like this?

Who else is this random?

Who else can do Bukowski justice?

Glad we got that cleared up.
: )

collected thoughts since last time. . .

• The sweet red tulips popping up all over the yard more than make up for my first visit from the "Avenues Alien" (aka: a centipede on steroids).
• There is much to be discovered anywhere you go if you go equipped with an inquiring mind.
• Eraserhead and Requiem for a Dream were enough trauma for one month. My heart is still skipping beats.
  
• Sunshine, rain, sunshine, rain, sunshine, rain. . .I could get used to this.
• I am going to ace my math final. You heard me. ACE.
  
• My new drop leaf table is begging to be mint green.
• I want some film buddies. Only requirements: must be nerdy and have a desire to go the the midnight movies at The Tower on a regular basis.
  
• Its time for long walks around Salt Lake, using the Polaroid, Chuck Taylors, and waking up early to do nothing.
• My dream man might look like Matthew Fox. Just saying. . .
• I can't get enough of Matt Nathanson for a while now. Not so much a fan of his newer, way overly produced stuff, but his older, live stuff reminds me of new love and road trips to the Great Northwest. . .

one too many mornings, and a thousand miles behind

I'm finding myself in a familiar place again, except with more insight this time. I suppose that's what life is all about anyway, the ebb and flow, but I'm having a hard time not making it wrong.

See, I think I'll always want the things I want, regardless of how unreasonable, until I accomplish them. Call it crazy, call it illogical, call it irresponsible, but I think sometimes we just know what we're made of even if we haven't successfully practiced those things in the past. Or maybe I'm just delusional.

Either way, I know San Francisco keeps calling my name. There's something to be discovered and to contribute there. I know I want to create art that reveals secrets about this world we live in. I know I want to make art that inspires positive change on any level. I know I want to take photos. I know I want to make films. I know I want to collaborate with other people. I know I want to see every corner of the world. I know I want to be my own boss. I guess where I get stuck is that I don't know if I'm capable. I don't know if an inherent desire is enough to even get started. But I'm sick and tired of reasons and my own self getting in my way.