you were right about the stars

I know, I know.  I promised more fall photos and I'm starting to run out of time with this snow we've had, but its been a busy two weeks.  This weekend. . .no matter what!  Here, have some Wilco in the meantime. . .

Its been a bit of a rough day.  Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get my act together, or if I'll just keep on making the same mistakes, over and over again.  It seems like we just don't ever learn some things.  Or maybe I've just been reading too much Chekhov.  Side note: Let it be known that Chekhov has busted my writing world open.  Beckett might have some new competition for the title of My Favorite Playwright.  And, I might be ready to start writing something big.

But back to the subject at hand.  Rilke's words ring in my head:

There is probably no point in my going into your questions now; for what I could say about your tendency to doubt or about your inability to bring your outer and inner lives into harmony or about all the other thing that oppress you - is just what I have already said: just the wish that you may find in yourself enough patience to endure and enough simplicity to have faith; that you may gain more and more confidence in what is difficult and in your solitude among other people. And as for the rest, let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always.

Gonna let that soak in.

And speaking of patience. . .The Beatles sure had some genius lyrics from time to time.  (Sigh)  Damn those heart strings. . .

{from Le Love}

 

in search of the perfect chair

I have more substantial things to write about, but for now we're going to cover my current obsession: finding the perfect chair.  Challenge #1. Must be comfy.  I sit at a desk at work and for extended periods of time doing photos and design work so the comfort factor is important.  Challenge 2. Needs arm rests.  Why?  Because I can't just sit still and straight for very long at all.  See #1.  Challenge #3. My "office" is in my kitchen and my counters are that bright retro orange color.  For this reason, I kind of want a retro looking chair, but its gotta work with the orange in there.  Challenge #4. Price.  I can't justify spending much more than $75 on a chair, and even then, I'd rather drop around $40.  I'm open minded though.  Challenge #5. Must be in Salt Lake or easy to order online.  My car just isn't going to make it to Utah County where it seems all the good chairs are.  Here are some favorites from around the web though. . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
I'm hoping that by putting this out there, it will just show up.

 

the power of possibility

This isn't breaking news anymore, I'm just behind on posting about it.  But. . .

Polaroid announced that they will start making instant cameras and film again starting in 2010!!!!!

Read the details on The Impossible Project's website.

{"Don't undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible"}
-Edwin Land
(Inventor of Instant Photography)

All I can say is, YAY!

 

short & sweet

Its 11:50 and I haven't slept much at all in the last 48 hours.  I hope that means I'll sleep like a rock tonight : )

Fall break is over and we're back in classes.  I think the second half of this semester is going to give me the intensity I signed up for.  That said, I feel like I need to renew my commitment to school.  Not because there's anything particularly wrong with my commitment right now, but if I've learned anything, its that this stuff needs to be generated over and over again.  And again and again. 

I'm still melting over the leaves right now, so for a little eye candy, check this out (don't remember where I came across it unfortunately).

 

And last but certainly not least, I bought hi-tops.  That's right, hi-tops.  I've been thinking about them for a while now but most of the ones I've come across are just way more self expressed than I need to be, so these seemed just right.  What can I say, some ridiculous trends just need to be tried. . .

 

MUAH!
      Zzzzzzz. . .

now the sweet bells of mercy drift through the evening trees

 photos*photos*photos: part 1

I can't get over the leaves!  I'm not sure fall in Salt Lake has ever been so beautiful, but then, maybe I just opened my eyes at the right time.  Its taking my breath away. 

These photos are from yesterday, just around my yard.  I was so excited to document our first tulips we had this spring, and even more excited to document these signs of fall.  Enjoy.  But first, a little Bruce to help us properly bid farewell to a beautiful summer. . .

 

  

 

More tomorrow.

xoxo

 

 

may my heart always be open

The past little while has felt like a strange downward spiral, or small circles at best.  I've often wondered if I really ever make any progress, or if I'll just vacilate forever and ever.  Then there are days like today, when you wake up and the world is beautiful again. 

I started off with some with e.e. cummings and this one opening line shaped my whole day:

may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living

I just about broke into tears when I read this.  It busted everything open and I immediately felt so inspired by the leaves and the sunshine and Salt Lake in general.  So naturally,  I went on a little photo adventure and it fed my soul like nothing else could have.  But first. . .coffee of course. 

 {morning had broken}

{the view}

{first color turn}

I just remembered a poem I wrote, long ago.  It was inspired by an afternoon on campus, and that unmistakable autumn-only kind of heartache. . .

fall again

This is the season.
Pumpkin smashing, and my head
beginning to hurt again
with floundering thoughts of you
while I consider the person I was,
am now,
and will be someday
when my dreams are re-colored
and formed by
my own two hands instead of someone else's.

Leaves keep falling and they
ring in the truth of me,
although it’s a truth 
I can't find.
Can't quite catch
as it falls.

Tired of being told to stay the same,
I change.

Such vibrant memories : )
There are several more posts coming + more photos.  So much to share in this here little blog world!

night, night
xoxox

 

It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away

I have a lot to say lately but can't seem to find the words.  Fortunately for that, there is music. . .

 

i want to melt into that fierce heat of living

Fall is fading into winter and its leaving me with that heater on, sweat shirt wearing, cold kitchen tile kind of being stuck in my own thoughts.  Which is probably good.  I've been mega distracted lately and rarely stop to notice. 

If that paragraph didn't make any sense, see if this song helps.  Its overflowing with my current mood. . .

I've probably posted this poem way too many times by now, but it hits the spot pretty often. 

SELF PORTRAIT

It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

  -- David Whyte
      from Fire in the Earth
      ©1992 Many Rivers Press