{Glory Box}

couldn't have said it better myself. . .

now I remain glowing at the ends

This will be another random post because I'm pretty much just putting off writing my film paper. I keep forgetting that I actually love writing about films. And its becoming clear that I'm just sort of all over the place all the time, and that's okay. That said, there are a few random things I found inspiring this week. One is this amazing poem that I adore over and over again. . .

Self-Portrait

It doesn't interest me if there is one God
Or many gods.
I want to know if you belong -- or feel abandoned;
If you know despair
Or can see it in others.

I want to know
If you are prepared to live in the world
With its harsh need to change you;
If you can look back with firm eyes
Saying "this is where I stand."

I want to know if you know how to melt
Into that fierce heat of living
Falling toward the center of your longing.

I want to know if you are willing
To live day by day
With the consequence of love
And the bitter unwanted passion
Of your sure defeat.

I have been told
In that fierce embrace
Even the gods
Speak of God.

-David Whyte

I think I'm going to start posting poetry more often since its an instant kick in the pants for my artistic side.

But before we go on, let's just acknowledge how epic Portugal the Man is. Especially when I'm feeling restless. . .

And a few photos. . .

These triple and double exposure shots from golfpunkgirl are so perfect and so inspiring that there just aren't even words. . .just go look at all of them.

I took a different route home the other day and was reminded of how beautiful and even eclectic Salt Lake is. It made me want to walk around and take pictures of old buildings and I think I might just try some multiple exposures of my own.

{I wish this was my pink suitcase}

{this goes without saying}

Well, I'm off for dinner with the fam. And THEN I will be a paper writing fool. . .

Peace
Love
&
4 shots of espresso

petals

I am so content and present right now that its almost painful. I guess all of this emotion is both what I've been avoiding for a while, and the beauty of being in stillness. . .

Finally, at nothing.
There is a world of things to say and no words. . .

you are my voice, my microphone

AHH! Why do the days turn into midnight so quickly? There's too much to do! Films to watch, things to write, books to read, projects to start, photos to work on, math homework to do--ick!

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. I made a few important observations today. . .

*I might have a new addiction. I think its called Soy Lattes.
*Jason Schwartzman just might be my dream man.
*I'm much more productive when wearing a skirt and boots.
*I don't ALWAYS love Absurdist film and theatre like I thought I did.
*I can finally put my dream job into words. . .not going to, but look out world!
*I'm incredibly inspired by people who make art their whole entire life and I intend to do the same.

Wow. . .I officially feel creepy. Or like I did when I was 13 years old and hung pictures of Ryder Strong on my wall.
(Sigh)
Oh dear god.

"there's a whale in the moon when it's clear and a bird on the tide"

I've been meaning to write this post for days now. Fortunately and unfortunately I've been so full of inspiration lately that its taken a lot of mental space to process AND I've recently become addicted to Lost, so there hasn't been much time to create anything. I've been very engrossed in the idea (and research) of actually making art a business for myself too. The tough part is, I don't really know where to start or what I want to specifically focus on because there are so many possibilities. I also have to keep reminding myself that gong to Europe this year is my priority right now, not starting a business. So I think for now, I'm going to attempt to make something every single day, that at the very least I can blog about. Early mornings need to become something I'm much more acquainted with in order to do this, but I think I'm up to the challenge.

Until then, I'm off for a fabulous weekend in Carbon County with my favorite girls. It will be a heck of a good time, and I think after spending $60 on getting film developed, I'm ready to put Sir Lancelot back to work.

Here are some things I'm adoring and some things I'm definitely purchasing!

This is one of the cutest and most creative things I've seen lately. . .

Personalized Postcard Pillow
by Olive

In my search for mustard yellow, I found these adorable cups by clayswan (I think I'm in love). . .

Yeah, pretty much I adore these Turquoise Apothecary Canisters @ domestikate

All Women Have Secrets
by stilettoheights

I pretty much have to have this next one. Why you ask? Because birds and whales are my favorite animals, and its inspired by the Tom Waits' song, "Fish & Bird" (such a sweet song. . .see video below)

Bird & Whale
by falldowntree. . .who happens to be local : )

Wow, that's a long post!
xoxo

"go off to sleep in the sunshine"

For some reason the only post inspiration I've been getting is random thoughts about random things. So I'm just going to go with it. To start, my little apartment is coming along quite nicely. I have new carpet finally and the bathroom and kitchen will be painted soon. I can't wait to photograph it!! I need to start thinking about beautiful things to hang on my walls : )

Next - It turns out I've been missing the joy that is almond butter, for like, years now. All because of one bad experience. Apparently if you just invest in the $12 jar, you're in spreadable heaven. Good lesson to learn here.

Oh, and olives. A cute boy recently reminded me of how much I love the random olive encounter. Mmmm.

I adore my girlfriends. You just don't get better or more beautiful friends. Years ago I literally dreamed about having these kind of friendships, and now here I am, and its even better than I had imagined : )

I adore my family. We are weird, but we can talk about anything with each other and sure know how to have fun regardless of what we're up to. There have been a few very big breakthroughs with them/us in the last week and I'm very excited for what's possible now. I'm a lucky girl.

The Elliot Smith kick is on.

Recently I've been thinking about what I want, in general. I've been feeling like I'm not doing much towards the greater good of my life, but then, I did just take on this apartment happening, which is so essential to the big picture anyway so I'm not sure why I'm beating myself up. I'm getting that a lot of what I strive towards isn't even anything I actually want. Just old stories and patterns I guess. Take dating for instance. . .I get all hyped about details of a circumstance only to realize I don't really want a relationship right now. Or do I? I'm just not sure. I don't think I do. I think I either want the real deal or nothing at all. And I still want to move to San Francisco someday, but I'm not doing anything about it. I guess part of that is due to the fact that things are so good here right now. Hmmm. . .

I guess maybe getting back to my daily intention journal might help.

Goodnight
XOXO

♫ I really like the Decemberists


I came across this quote yesterday in my blog reading, and just love it. . .

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." - Theodore I. Rubin, MD

*i know this much is true*

A few things are for sure. . .

I like having my own apartment.
Yoga is a necessity at least once a week or I go a little insane.
I no longer feel bad killing the ants.
I suddenly want to paint everything black. What does this mean?
There are some things I'm nowhere near being transformed about.
Green carpet really was only cool in the 70s.
Bright orange counter tops will always be cool.
My Jack Johnson kick might be over soon.
My Elliot Smith kick is about to start.
Its time to go to bed.
Someday I want to be self-employed.
You can pretty much always count on decisions made while in savasana.
I need a day of silence and solitude.
I will have to wait another week for that.
My days seem to be blending together. . .work, sleep, organizing, work, sleep, organizing, work, sleep, organizing, woasgkjaselkgja;slgjasdggg, its getting old.
If I'm feeling down right now, all that means is things are about to look up.
Tomorrow will be a good day. Its my best friend's birthday! (Hi Er!)
I'm grateful for the people and things that constantly connect me to something higher than myself.

{turquoise and blue lace}

Well. . .Alexi, Jack, Ray, David, Ben, Xavier and the boys from The National and I are all having a wonderful time with some red wine. These are men after my own heart. They definitely move me, every time, and I think these nights are some of my favorite. I still haven't done anything to organize myself for moving though, which is problematic, but I keep getting distracted. All I know is that the bathroom might be turquoise, or blue lace (I think that's what its called).

So anyway, since I can't get enough of Alexi, here is my favorite of the bunch. . .

and this is also pretty exquisite if I may say so. . .

{thank you Le Love}

This is an awkward post. But in the spirit of being a sap, I'm going to share this poem I wrote, which I'm feeling bashful about for sure. Its been years since something flowed this easily though so here goes. . .

Over my dry chianti
I admit
I sort of fear what you're already opening in me.

This poem
could be proof.

And those moments I had to close my eyes
to absorb the impact
could be proof of blooming too.

birthday cheese

On his day of birth, I want to acknowledge my dear friend Nate. . .

who constantly inspires me. . .taught me how to drink beer and appreciate good food. . .can always cheer me up when I need it. . .can always make me cry when I need to and can't. . .always stands for my greatness even when I don't. . .is always there for the people he loves. . .practically invented the ellipsis. . .lives his life with more integrity than most of us could ever hope for. . .
and is one of the funniest mother fuckers I've ever known.

{i heart you buddy}
Happy Birthday!

This one's for you. . .

(you asked for it!)